Honoring the Journey
While in my mother’s womb, I was already absorbing the world around me, her heartbeat, her scent, the rhythm and flavors of Korea. Depression lived in my mother, our family lineage and country's hardship.
For seven months, I was wrapped close to my mother in a wide cloth podaegi, our bodies moving together in a shared rhythm. When she passed that heartbeat fell silent, setting in motion a journey through multiple homes before landing in Minnesota at two years old. A hollow emptiness followed me through life; I had no understanding how to grieve that first loss.
Growing up I knew I was different, life felt like bumping into wall after wall. Behaviors labeled rebellion or “difficult,” were simply my body expressing grief held deep in my cells. Later, rebellion turned into performance. For a while, success felt like proof I mattered — until it didn’t.
After a second marriage nearly ended and two reunions with my Korean siblings - each a miracle and profoundly destabilizing, stories for another time - I finally stopped drinking alcohol and began a yoga practice.
This marked the beginning of my healing. For the first time, I could notice differences in stretch between my left & right sides, feeling this was revolutionary. I had been living disconnected from my body my entire life.
I committed deeply to my practice - yoga, meditation, therapy. And still, I felt stuck in familiar loops.
Then, psychedelics found me - rather than the other way around.
In Amsterdam, I encountered cannabis that took me into a profound, unexpected journey—I had visions of my Akashic records and pre-verbal memories from Korea. I later combined the uncovered memories with Internal Family Systems therapy where I met and held the younger parts of myself, little Joni, still holding that early grief. For the first time, I could access layers of my unconscious and reframe into new possibilities.
Six months later, a psilocybin mushroom journey deepened my connection to consciousness. I experienced a sense of universal belonging, love and equality, and that alone was profoundly healing. For me, plant medicine has illuminated meaningful insights. I approach it with reverence, and in return, it meets me with clarity.
What I’ve learned is this: plant medicine opens the doorway, and integration creates lasting change. Without it, insight fades like a dream you never write down.
Today, as old narratives have been reframed, my relationships reflect more of the beauty I was born with, rippling outward to those I love. I move through life with greater agency, alignment and sense of possibilities.
Now, I support others in identifying blocks and reconnecting earlier - to what can truly free you - you don’t have to wait five decades colliding with the same walls. My work focuses on reframe practices, IFS and plant medicine integration.
I share this because I once searched relentlessly for help. I didn’t expect to find it in plant medicine. I didn’t expect to expand so quickly. If something in this resonates - know that there are paths that can reach places other modalities sometimes cannot. And you don’t have to walk them alone.
The Personal Stuff...
I’m a lifelong seeker of meaning and connection, with family spanning Korea and America.
My morning rituals are anchored by meditation, coffee, and my cavapoo, Mazie - my greatest co-regulation teacher.
I show love through hugs and cooking food that nourishes body and soul.
I value depth, humor, curiosity, and the courage it takes to tell the truth about our stories.
Felt, embodied connection is my jam - and healing that feels alive.